Weapons Grade Life

*Robby:* I gotta go make water.*Xavier:* Spray it, don’t say it. —————————— *(Xavier is secretly watching a doctor apparently performing surgery through praying to God)**Xavier:* *(to himself)* I’d like to see this guy pray an abortion. —————————— *Robby:* If my dad found out I was using science to help him with his Christian Science, he’d be crushed. —————————— *Robby:* Daddy can’t ever know about my lab. He thinks science is evil, and the Lord heals all.*Xavier:* How does he explain the fact that his own son’s legs make me want to puke all over them?*Robby:* Um, he never says that. —————————— *Xavier:* Kid, life is just death in drag. —————————— *Xavier:* You’re not better than me, okay?! Just because you’ve created life doesn’t make you some kind of god. There’s more to life than life! —————————— *Robby’s Father:* Well, I tell you: I’d swim through a *lake full of water* for these cakes. That’s the only thing that would put out the *raging fire in my belly* for these cakes.*Bakery Employee:* That’s an odd thing to say. —————————— *Robby’s Father:* *(Dousing himself in gasoline, after learning that all of his surgeries were played by his son)* All that is real is ANNIHILATION! —————————— *Xavier:* You need to move on from losing your father back there. You need closure.*Robby:* Closure?! The explosion hasn’t even ended yet! —————————— *Xavier:* They say when you die, you shit your pants; but not me. I’m gonna shit my heart.